Leftovers

Poems and songs that were previously deemed unsuitable for inclusion (Yet later on felt strangely too wrong to be left behind)

THE PERFECT DAY
(The first song I’ve ever created)

The wind comes the wind goes
Silence flying, silence falling
And I keep on listening, to the same old song
Keep on walking, the same old road

I’m tired out
But my spirit burns still
Seems I’ve been through a lot
But I know there’s still more

And this small little town, had lost its charm
But still I know, my day’s still long…

I know that along this road, my success awaits
But my patience always fails me
Yet I try to hold on with this thing called hope
And I think I saw God smiled…

I keep on walking, on the road called time
Keep on walking, walking through this rain
For I’m searching for the perfect day
To find and seek the perfect day
I’m searching for the perfect day
And there will end all my miseries…

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
1993


THE WINGED HOPE
(Excerpt from my science fiction trilogy ‘The Green Shadows’)

I stand alone in the wake of the dawn
When the colours start to show
I’m searching the Earth for that blissful smile
Of the Winged Creature Of Hope…

So quiet the land when the birds first sing
As this traveller travels the sky
For the Majesty that He showed to me
Will always be in my heart…

So bold and great the souls divide
It turns all the seas to gold
And under the Hymn Of Every Goodbye
The sun shall kiss the moon…

But as the Rainbow graces the Dawn
The Shadows will kiss the Golden Light
For life begins the moment it ends
As I open the Doors to the Promised Land…

SAIFUL NIZAM SHUKOR
1999


THESE LAST FEW DAYS
Once, one glorious dawn
I saw a weather balloon floating aimlessly in the sky
At first I thought it was a spaceship
But then I remembered that I’ve watched too much TV!

It floated slowly above me, going very much eastward
Passing by a few stars still struggling to glow, in the almost a broad daylight
And until finally, it disappeared behind the snowflake image of the glowless moon
Leaving me wondering, was it for real, or am I having one of those grand delusions
Again?

Yes, these last few days
The sun seemed to be fuzzy to me
The moon never glowed this strongly before
And the cocks never crowed at 12 a.m. but it did, yesterday!

But then I remembered
That this month happened to be December
A month very different, from all the other months
Because in a few days time, it’s Happy New Year’s day!
(Heh heh, corny isn’t it?)

But also in these last few days, are the times for us to pray and prepare
For the coming of the New Year does not come everyday, okay!
And with each coming New Year brings new challenges for us all
So hey, your resolution page is still empty my friend!

These last few days, albeit a ditto externally, to all the other days of the year
Would be enough to tell the world
That even with all of us together, could not even hope to compare
To that which God had already had in store for us
So have a good life my friends, ‘cos that’s all that we can do right now…

SAIF MINTAKA
KL
1996



THE CROSSROAD IN LIFE
Here I am now standing
Standing on the hill of a thousand roses
Watching as time flew past me like birds
Flying in formations over the crossroad in life

I couldn’t see it at first, because before I was still asleep,
Under the sound of the harp
But now I realised, and had awakened to the fact
That I’ll be making a very big decision
On this fateful day

So help me God, please!
The crossroad that I must pass, seems so simple at first
But the places that these roads will take me
Are still a bit fuzzy and hazy!

I fear that I will be making yet another wrong turn
What if I can’t find my way out?
What if I can’t go back to the starting point?
Oh these questions are circling me head,
Somebody please get rid of them!

I remember then, about my past life
About all the failures that I’ve been through
And also the tastes of minor successes
That came and went throughout my life,
Leaving nothing but memory

But a voice inside of me, never let me went astray from reality
And there are a lot of things to do and undo back home
Both in my heart and mind
So wait for me, O crossroad in life!
I must clean my house first before I’m ready to face you!

SAIF MINTAKA
SMST
1994


FRIENDSHIP
I remembered
When the sky was in a shade of vermilion
Of a friend I used to know
Who gave me a priceless jewel
But then, as time went by
We’ve gone our separate ways
To pursue our dreams, never to turn back
And now, here I am standing
In the junction of life
Recalling the past, found it again
The jewel that we shared
And the memories returned
Telling everything, every moment from that past
But then, they are just memories
Nothing more that can be done
For soon after that, I continued my journey
Passing the days through just like before
To find the meanings of life
At the moment of dusk…

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
SDAD
1993


MIKRA’S MANIFESTATION
(An excerpt from my still unfinished science fiction book
ANDROMEDA: THE SIGN OF MIKRA, circa 1993)

A morning dust
The time stood still
Fleshing out the weeds, the twinning had ended
Faking a steaming rock, a warrior muttered his fate
The mirror shall break the darkness
The muses of the hour will show the way
From the black mountain of fear, to the pale blue sky
And ended ye shall, near the sleeping child…


MY LAST POEM
(An epitaph to be carved upon my tombstone?)

My last poem…
Such a corny title
Such a banal remark to this life of mine
But, feasible for now, or so it seems

I don’t know whether this is really the end or otherwise
Is this where I draw the line before my entire search for Life
And all of its meanings?
Or maybe it continues on and on, long after I’ve stopped breathing?
I don’t know, I just don’t know!

Well, those questions are over now, gone and unanswered
And it seems that I’ve been writing my whole desires on windy sand dunes
All these while
Writing but only to rewrite it again and again
With no one to stop me, and no one to mourn me…

Yes, it’s been so long since I’ve last tasted satisfaction
Now all that I got was just a load of hot sandy winds, dry and gritty
Maybe, it was planned for me, or worst, destined for me!
I don’t know, it’s been so long since I ever got used to feeling
Expectations, for they’re all bullshit now!

Indeed someone had said that you’d know it’s over
When the wishful dreamer had gone back home
The industrious worker had reached his five o’clock
While the teacher is still at work, even during the holidays
But that leaves me where then, after all these years of living
And enjoying my life?
I still feel like I’m at the point of where I started!

Then suddenly, the silence fell again, I don’t know for how long this time
And I don’t know why
But at least I can still smile, albeit for one last time
For it seemed that each time the darkness and the gloom tried to greet me
The sky was vermilion again, and how I thanked God for that!

But it also showed me, that my final day is near
The day I said my goodbye, to seal all of my good-byes
Towards friends I never knew ever existed on this earth
All to whom that still remembers me, my name
And to all those who are reading this poem right now…

So let this be my last poem on this miserable Earth
My last mindless scribble in the paper of sand
The last nostalgic melody, that tells me
That at last I’ve reached the moment of dusk that I so badly craved
The dusk, that follows the dawn, no more…

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
MUAR
1996

2002-Roses for a Departed Memory

ALONE IN THE CITY
Alone…
In the dark
Waiting for the morning light
Waiting for another day

Here I am walking, ghostly and pensive
Between overbearing shades of dimly lit edifices
Across dusty asphalt streets that are empty still
And through the wind that smells of languid smoke
As the sound of distant traffic echoes through my mind

This is me, this is myself, and this is I
Alone to myself, alone to the world, and lonelier still
The clock is ticking, yet the sky is still black
The shadows are strong, and I’m just one…

And as I lean against a stack of old tyres
Voices of the heavens descend to my ears
Even through the wind I hear them well still
Making me hasten my steps into the alleys and the gutters…

This is my room, this is the gloom, and those are the echoes
As I dry my tears for one last time
This is the darkness, this is my house, and those are my hopes
A fleeting snowflake of departed times

The time to dream
And the time to die…in vain
Finally…

SAIF MINTAKA
JULY
2002


COMING BACK HOME AGAIN
(The outcome of one of my most suicidal moments...)

Alas,
Through these blinding streetlight and glittering billboards
I am here and nowhere once more
Walking towards the busride paid by this hunch of mine
In the terminal of lost dreams and departed hopes
To pensively resume my journey homeward at best

Again I shall travel the heartless asphalt after raking the clouds for the umpteenth time
Of promises never made to me yet I waited and begged for it in vain

Again I shall travel the weatherworn highways of restlessness bordering on paranoia
Towards home I could never ever return to
Where I’ve said my prolonged goodbyes once too many times
The only thing that kept on bothering me
Under the sky of mars and the moon…

But alas,
This well had dried up a long time ago
Yet misty my eyes will be with every red light that I had to stop at
And the ensuing roar of a late green light as my bus rides on
For it would seem that my life was never like that
And a fighter of non-existing cause I have become:

To retire means without a medal, without honour, and without a smile
To go on means a life of never-ending sorrow and silence
To forever chase a sigh of yesterday’s gold
Which had since corroded with time and age
And I’m already feeling old for my time
I need to rest; I want to go home!

But alas I remember, that the past is my home
And no matter how hard I try I could never go back there again
For it had since moved on beyond the moment of dusk
Never to be seen or touched again

So pray for me, my friends
Pray for me a nice and flowery eulogy under a sun filled sky
To wait for me at the end of this journey
For none of my journeys had been none but thorny
And many a time I shed useless tears
Weathering scolds and curses from those with no eyes
And pushed upside down by those without hearts…

And let this elegiac wanderer sings his final lament to his world
For none shall recall him when his elegy stops
And none shall pay him their final respect
When that dreamer alights, before the Face of God

SAIF MINTAKA
KL
2002


JUST A THOUGHT…
(My homage to Kuala Lumpur's most famous centre for "Modern" Arts and Culture... The Central Market)

There is something about the merry feelings adorning the stones
The wilted dreams and ordained hopes that I breathe
And the loss of substance in me in this scheme of things
But where would these lead me to?
Where would the fluttering of the flautist go when all the ringing had gone?
Lost am I again in the café of fleeting moments?
Perhaps, perhaps this is neither the end nor the beginning
Perhaps this orb needs some re-polishing
Oh well…it’s time I breathe the rainbow again!
Goodbye.

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
KL
2002


SONG OF THE ETHEREAL FRIENDS
(Written on the day one of my old friends got married...I didn't go to his wedding...I just can't...Dear God I just can't!...)

We were alone, young and curious
When fate brought us to this untouched place
Bringing with us our joy and laughter
That slowly changed the colour of the sky
The colour of the earth
And the colour of our lives, our very lives

Those were the days when we knew no boundaries
For life in this garden was strictly for fun
Where tears and hatred had no place to be
As we sang and played on the fields of hope
While forging our hearts onto the crystal tower
That floats on the sky of every new dawn…

But the tower had long since disintegrated
And the fields of hope had wasted away
For as time went by we’re scattered like pollens
Reducing this friendship to wilted memories
With some had gone to carve their own lives
And some had gone, never to return…

So here on the ruins of yesterday
I sadly watched the last of my kind
Becoming a glittering, glimmering, king for a day
All happy and smiling, holding hands
Looking at each other with feelings of love
Sitting on the throne of a thousand roses…

I then realised, that I am now alone
As I resumed my life of a silent traveller
With nothing before and nothing behind me
And nothing but memories to keep me company…

But I’ll keep on going no matter what happens
Even if I am the last of my kind
And so on the eve of this coming New Year
I cast my wishes on the Well of Time

For a future that’s bright and glorious to us all,
And a life that’s kind and beautiful to the last
As I walk away into the dawn
For we are still, and will always be
Ethereal friends…

SAIFUL NIZAM SHUKOR
MUAR

2001-The Beginning of Maturity (Sort of...)

THROUGH THIS DARK AND EMPTY PASSAGE
I began my steps with the grace of hope
That lit my path so glorious and white
But that was before, when the walls were merrier
And echoes of laughter filled the air…

So now I tread on a path so cold
As cold as the walls of grey and cobwebs
Beholding the light as it faded away
While they looked at me in snide and dismay

But through this dark and empty passage
A whisper of joy had came and went
Telling me of news that felt so good
Like the skies of gold and the seas of azure…

And so I hastened my steps faster and faster
Till my body now felt as light as the air
For I know that beyond this dreary tunnel
Things that I yearned would greet me at last…

A bosom for my failures, a shoulder for my tears

SAIF MINTAKA
KL
2001


A BOOK, A PEN AND A DREAM OF FAR
Here I am a loner, a wandering star
A book, a pen and a dream of far
Sitting all alone one lazy afternoon
Under a blissful wind, a yawning sun
And the silence that reigned for most of the time

Throughout the day I hear no sounds
That neither discourages nor depresses still
No cars no bikes to plough the road
No planes no blimps to circle the sky still

It’s scary to think that it’s too good to be true
When the houses and the hills resemble each other
And noises of birds overcome the illegal factories
A peaceful moment in an unlikely setting

But I have none but God to thank
For this fleeting smile that he’d given me still
And it’s hard to go by with just a sigh
When a dreamer you are and you chose to be…

So this book will I write and this pen will I use
And the greatness of a dream once more I pursue
And thus will I charter a new lease in life
While hoping that someday I’ll come back here again…

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
MUAR
2001


THE FAIRY’S LULLABY
Lay down your thoughts o ye of some faith
For there’s no more forgiveness to the likes of you
Lay down your weapons o ye of some trust
For never this place shall revolve with the wind
Lay down your heart o ye of some love
For never this hatred be your partner-in-crime
And lay down your clothes o ye of some shame
For none shall behold your body and soul…

And time has come full circle once more
It’s time for us to make our way home
So ye from the earth now hasten to the earth
And ye from the sea unfurl thy great sails
And ye from the sky take flight to the stars
And ye from the rainbow return to the clouds…

So send my regards to the people thou meet
For they are but angels in masks and disguises
And fear not the darkness for that’s where hope lives
Inside our hearts our faith will we weave
And waste not the tears of every goodbye
For once we depart the memory shall stay
And stay it shall till we meet again!

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
KL
2001


THE DREAMER’S EPITAPH
Here I am now a lonely traveller
Sitting in an empty bus on an empty dream
Sighing ever so loudly while its engine’s igniting
Greeting another moment of yet another day

Here I am wondering as I sat on my seat
Of whether my home would welcome me or not
After years and years of living a lie
With the world around me kept mocking my existence
Kicking up the dust onto my frozen face

Here I am drained, lifeless and silent
After all those tears I’ve spilled in the shadows
While venting my anger to the wind and the clouds
And sharing my problems with those without ears

Here I am lost, defeated and shamed
Pursuing dirty dust specks on an asphalt stream
Wondering whether my dreams were nothing but junk
Or whether time would again be as rosy as before
While I pray for hope to wait for me still
Behind this grey and white horizon…

But should there be none then this bus will I board
And this road will it travel till the end of time
So that the world will know of the pain that I felt
When this wandering dreamer now dreams no more…

SAIF MINTAKA
KL
2001

2000-The Year Of Mixed Blessings and Curses

AN ODE TO A CAT
(Dedicated to my sweet Poochie, may he rest in peace)

Never had I seen, a sunrise so glorious
Than when it fell and glowed, on his silky fur
And the flowers in the garden shall wither in spirit
If ever he’s not there to play with the petals…

So life will come full circle once more
As he stared at you with those deep blue eyes
And heaven will descend onto his face
Whenever he slept on his favourite spot

And life to him was all but adventures
For he was a hunter of unrivalled skills
And the birds flew off the bugs disappeared
Whenever he walked across the lawn…

And if I should feel angry or upset
His presence would put me back on my feet
For when he mewed in any occasion
My heart would glow like a beacon in a storm

I gave my thanks to God above
Whenever he sat on the windowsill
Staring at the world as they passed him by
A perfect companion for lonely souls…

And if my God requests me a choice
Of a hill of gold or my Siamese cat
I will not have any second thoughts
For he was a friend above all friends…

SAIFUL NIZAM SHUKOR
MUAR
2000


AND THE STARS IN THE SKY BE MY DAFFODILS
And the stars in the sky be my daffodils
Floating so far yet so near to my eyes
Sensing not the scent, or knowing how it felt
In my open and curious hands
A reverie borne by words, from those who’ve seen it close
As I yearn in my heart to be, forever closer

But what can I do, a dreamer born of earth
For I have no wings to travel its length
Nor have I the knowledge to bring us together
Only two feet on the ground a head in the clouds
And a heart that beats with so much quandary

And a face that portrays, no strong and heartfelt smile…

But still I know, of the one that creates
Standing above me in a bright sunny smile
To always lend me His ears whenever there were none
To always have a heart whenever I hit the wall
And to always welcome me still, should I stumble and fall
Again and again…

SAIFUL NIZAM SHUKOR
MUAR
2000


PAEAN OF THE MERRY
Nothing much, nothing much has changed
Since the last I set foot on the Kingdom of Reality
While following the tempestuous glimmer
Of a shiny yet distant promise…

And as I stood on its warm and fertile soil
I found myself in a quandary, a confusion
Sandwiched between choices that were not too rosy
That had almost made me come undone, an effigy of disillusionment!

But still the beauty of my untouched ideals
Will always be here to remind this me
Of the path that’s rosy and will always be rosy
And of the sun that’s bright and will always be bright

So as I rise to the melody of the paean of the merry
I’ll give my thanks to the ground that’s muddy
For when all the clouds be tainted, dark and stormy
The pollens in the sky shall become my rosary…
(Thank you God, for everything)

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
MUAR
2000


I WILL KEEP ON GOING
(Laments of a depressed songwriter)

Ten straight years had came and went
Since that blackened day
When the road I’m travelling on, crumbled into darkness
The colour of my life

And on this hour of faded gold, and the blackened sky
Everything comes back to me
All my past mistakes, and all those painful times

But I know I can’t go back to where I came from
For my doors of happiness, are no more in my sight
But I’ll cry no more…

So come what may, I just don’t care
Even if it hurts
For I’m sick of wallowing in the things they said
In the things they don’t!

And if the darkness is my friend, then let it be!
For I still have my life to live
Till the hatred stops
On the day I die…

Ten straight years had came and went
Since that blackened day
When the road I’m travelling on, crumbled into darkness
The colour of my life

Ten straight years had came and went
But still I’m feeling strong
And even if there’s no more light
I will keep on going
I will keep on living

SAIF MINTAKA
MUAR
2000


THE MOON IN THE SCARLET CLOUD
The moon in the scarlet cloud
Glowing before the setting sun
Watching as the birds go home to roost
Ushering the twilight that came with the wind

The moon in the scarlet cloud
Stronger they glow with each passing moment
An unsettling scenery in the wake of the dusk
A fearsome spectacle with hidden meanings

The moon in the scarlet cloud
The vermilion sun passing the shadows
A telltale sign of impending decadence
A fitting end to the wayward kind…

SAIF NIZMA
2000

1999-The year I attained Sacred Enlightenment

A MOMENT IN TIME II: MOVING ON
I awoke to the sounds of crawling boxes
On the asphalt of perpetual chaos
I listened to the stories of life everyday
As it accumulated in the city’s skyline

Though the sun and the moon are still the same
Nothing much that can be said, of the people below them
Of their ever changing views of the world
And of the environment in which they live in

So here on my perch above the ground
Behind the final greens of this screaming city
I curiously observed all their daily rituals
As they lived their lives on this
Fast paced, progressive land

Though this is just an anomaly,
That can never be found anywhere else
This is the place where I glimpsed,
The popular, elusive, meanings of life

As I resume my long lost quest
To go and touch the edge of the sky…

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
KL
1999


CRY OF A FALLEN SOLDIER II: CLOSING THE CHAOS ERA
I remember the days of long ago
When I stood still in the Valley of Yesterday
While looking in joy to the skies of tomorrow
Feeling like the one with all the luck in the world…

But all those days are over now
Gone into the shroud of Great Mistakes
That turned the sky from blue to grey
And smothered the sun and froze the land

I knew that my past is cursing my present
As I shed and waste more useless tears
Though I still yearned for the blue skies of home
Negative feelings had left me in apathy…

For years I’ve lain in the quagmire of confusion
Listening helplessly to the overture of destruction
Feeling that God had walked away from the numbers
And that every ounce of my purity tainted,
With all the sacrilege that life has to offer…

But my past promises kept me alive
Even at the times I abandoned my ideals
Watching as the good man of myself died in agony
While I struggled to be free from this desecrated nightmare

But then I realised, that this is reality
A reality awash with chaos and errors
And like all reality it will not last long
As you sail on your barge to the Promised Land…

Alas the dawn had broken through the darkness
It’s time for me to pick up the pieces
And to take control of my wayward life
As I shed and waste my final tears…

And the Rainbow of Dawn had touched the sky
As I bury my past under the Monument of Time
I’m closing the doors of the chaos era behind me
Before resuming my journey, to the deep blue sky...

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
MUAR
1999

THE RAINBOW OF DAWN
The Rainbow of Dawn is in the sky
Standing above the morning sun
That breaks the cold, nightlong darkness
Of yesterday’s fading memory

The Rainbow of Dawn is in the sky
Waving goodbye to the Fingers of Aurora
As the sky above me is turning blue
Being cheered by birds no eyes can see…

The Rainbow of Dawn is in the sky
Proudly showing its vibrant colours
To the wandering dreamer that passes by
While searching the earth for the Moonlight Flowers

The Rainbow of Dawn is in the sky
As I stand alone in introspection
Down in the street of falling leaves
Facing the road of fragile cement

The Rainbow of Dawn is in the sky
It disappears a moment later
A heavenly sign of renewing hope
As I walk the earth to face my future…

SAIF MINTAKA
1999


AS I SAT ON THE GOLDEN MEADOW
I am a sidereal traveller
Traversing the sky on wings and a prayer
Singing hymns of peace and freedom
A legacy I carried since the dawn of time

The deep blue sea knew my real name
The winds of the season, my faithful minstrel
And the sun shall kiss the enraptured moon
Whenever I stopped to catch my breath

Although the stars, my childhood playmates
I chose to tread the rain-scarred earth
Subjecting myself to the mercy of nature
And all for just a measly flower

But I didn’t have the slightest regret
To watch every dawn and glance every dusk
For Time is a friend who always drops by
To have a drink while we laugh at the world

And as I sat on the golden meadow
Another day had gloriously ended
For the weary sun had wearily retreated
Into the red and blue horizon…

And the ensuing night shall bring forth
The primal awakening of the Purple Flower of Faith
That lines the banks of the Crystal River
An ethereal gift from the Path of Angels

But as the sky turns gold once more
I’ll kiss the earth in grace and gratitude
For I always mean it every time I say
“This is my life, and this is my choice…”

SAIF MINTAKA
MUAR
1999

SONG OF THE FINAL TWILIGHT
Time, both a friend and a sworn enemy, keeps on repeating itself
And although the chaos era was over and done with
I can still feel the cold, dry wind blowing on my face again
As I stand below the darkening sky

It is beyond my expectations
To see that my dreams are still a dream
After years and years of trying and crying
Enduring all the pain that no eyes can see

But then, even when all the odds are stacked against me
I know that I shall hear the sacred melody once again
Coming into being from the Harmonica of Hope
Healing all wounds on my battered soul

…A valiant panacea to an incurable disease…

And so once again I said my worthless good-byes
To this crumbling sang-froid of the glorious yesterday
Before walking once again along this corroded path
Back to where it all began…

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
MUAR
1999


THE TRAVELLER’S MULLINGS
I raise my pen in trembling hands
As I travel the realms of the final ecstasy
That epitomised the last salute
On the day that time stood still

This is the day worth waiting for
As I stand on the ground of empty buildings
Lining the street that mimicked them well
Staring through time with the greatest of ease…

And here on the junction of hopes and dreams
I cast my spells on the crumbling walls
As the crystal seas are singing gold
While I laugh at the sky of retrospection

No feelings can conjure, the answer to this riddle
As I braid the rays of the morning sun
And out comes the juice of life itself
Soaking the ground of purple grass

But even when all your dreams fail to germinate
Do send your regards to the passing clouds
For life always begins at the moment it ends
Once you’re inside the circles of the sun…

SAIF MINTAKA
KL/MUAR
1999


BEHIND THE SHADOW OF HONOR
The paths of wisdom were buried in weeds
The dirt of the earth was now in their hearts
And the mighty sword had befallen once more
Spilling more blood for one more time

Gone were the days of ethereal gold
For the azure seas had left the earth
Leaving a trail of unnecessary destruction
Caused by creatures so tiny yet so bold

And as I stood on this forsaken red monument
I sighed at the scent of the passing fireballs
While hearing the earth lamenting the fate
Of those who thought they’re in control…

I pity the few who still in their hearts
The heavenly words of their Almighty Creator
For a lot of their kind had already forgotten
How easily riches can turn back to rags!

So the first few warnings had soaked the earth
As the eternally ignorant continued with their partying
Soaking their hands on the blood of the innocent
While still kept on thinking they’re in control!

And to those who’ve seen the signs of the fire
They will sigh and pray for a timely demise
For the time of judgement is coming our way
Regardless of whether we like it or not!

SAIF ADLI
MUAR
1999

1998-Requiem For A Lost Innocence

SOON IT WILL BE A NEW YEAR AGAIN
The last day of the year is here again
The day when a year’s worth of pain
A year’s worth of unaccomplished hopes
And a year’s worth of unrequited dreams
Come to an end…

I watch, as people from all walks of life
Regardless of their religion and creed
Banded together in a surreal vigil, watching
As the three black fingers of time move across its white face…

And for a fleeting moment, mankind is one again
Carrying each in their hearts a prayer, a vision and a wish
The wish for a better tomorrow, wrapped in a veil of friendship
And ablutionised they were, by the tears of joy…

The hour draws closer and closer
And on the earth on which I stand, I close my eyes
As I silently look back towards yesterday
And into all the days that I’ve been through…

I open my eyes once again
As I joyfully recites a sentence of a familiar prayer
For I realised now, that after all the pain filled days that I’ve been through
He lets me live to see this day

I can see it now
That through all the times that I wished I was never born
And even up to the point of suicide contemplation
I never stopped looking for that perfect day…

Soon it will be a New Year again
Another chance for me to sing and dance under the sun
Before quietly resuming my lifelong quest
To go and touch the infinite sky…

It’s time for me to leave this sang-froid of yesterday
And to start filling my heart with hopes and dreams
To start believing that He will always be there for us all
And to start searching for that long lost vermilion sunset

And I shall treasure all the pains and all the sufferings of yesterday
Like I treasure all those happy days under the sun in between them all
For memories will always be with us even after all the money in the world disappeared
And be with us will they, till the end of time…

Then suddenly, as the sky erupts in a shower of light
The last day of the year finally comes to an end
And as the entire planet celebrates the arrival of another golden year
One unknown soul walks quietly into the night…

SAIF MINTAKA
EARTH
1998


AWAY FROM MY NUMBERS
I stand alone in the surreal sunrise
As the traffic of this small little town finally caught up with me
With hesitations playing in my mind and doubts eating at my heart
I don’t know whether I should walk
Or should I fly or should I jump?
Yes, standing still is actually not an option to me
Ever since I started living my life as the student of Life
So here I am, clueless, voiceless
Waiting restlessly for a notion from above that may or may not come
I try to look around, but angry faceless corpses will eat at my face
I try to look back, but a dry, moss covered well is all that I see
And so I resume my surreal vigil once again
Focusing my eyes to the empty white horizon
Waiting for the first descending golden snowflakes to appear from the sky
So that when I resume my walk, I shall walk like a god
Away from his numbers…

SAIF MINTAKA
1998


THE RAIN CALLER
I see the coming days of a thousand happiness
Locked behind a single day of pain
I breathe in the air of unwanted pollution
Coming from the towering smokestack of ambition
Yet, after all that had happened in the afternoon of desire
I am still alone, faceless, defeated
Legacy of enemies that don’t really exist
But deep down inside of me
I only wish for tomorrow to be yesterday again
So that I could stay under the sun, for one more day…

SAIF MINTAKA
1998


THE MILLENNIUM’S END a.k.a. UNDER THE ECLIPSED SKY
I saw, in the sky, one fine morning
A dawning sun, still in its infancy

Then suddenly, the blazing red sky lost its lustre
From out of nowhere the black clouds appeared
Devouring all the light in the pale blue sky
The life-giving light, of the ever-glowing sun

And from this turmoil the night entity appeared
Edging closer and closer to the light of the day
Unleashing the might, of the clash of the Titans
Turning all the winds icy cold

Then lo, a circle within a circle appeared
Perched menacingly on the throne of clouds
Returning the dawn back into the darkness
As messages of hope departed to the sky

But from the turmoil the victor appeared
As the majestic glow returned to the mournful sky
And the ice-cold winds were now a fanfare of joy
As the unwanted one gracefully accepted defeat…

And thus ended a glorious battle
That signified the millennium’s end
In ways not yet understood…

SAIF MINTAKA
22nd AUGUST
1998

1997-The Chaos Era Went Full-Swing!

AWAY FROM THE TWILIGHT
Herald the coming water
For the time to rest is near
And the sunshine will be stronger
And twilight will linger longer

Be at peace with the coming rainfall
And solitude will reward you bountifully
For when the Crystal Daffodils be awakened from their mull
The Sacred Xylophone shall be melodious again

And if you stand at the Junction of Many Consequences
Try and look for the withering Moonlight Flowers
Take a deep sniff of its dying petals; lick its drying leaves
And soon you will know, where every road will lead you from here

And should you ever be engulfed by the twilight
Try and look for the golden threads of the sky
For only then you will know, that there’s still tomorrow
And that no man is an island…

Be alone when you hear the Diamond Nightingale sings
And the rain that drops on you will be golden in colour
But when the Sacred First Star twinkles above you
You will know, that the time of joy is here to stay

Trust no one but your loyal Crystal Snakes
And the Withering Acacia shall bloom again
Feel every moment of the last rain dance
For it is meant to heal your sacrileged land

The coming rainfall of the sacred emerald is nigh, my friend
Accept each good-byes like they will never last, and your path will be golden once more
Weather every defeat as a merry prelude to a perfect day, for your ideals were given not to be taken back
And treat your friends as Emperors banded together in the Round Table of Fate
For we are not the first to live on this golden meadow called Life

And we won’t be the last, to eat the peaceful sunset
Away from the twilight…

SAIF MINTAKA
EARTH
1997


THE MANY LAYERS OF DUSK
Here out of nowhere I speak again
After a long period of silence
That passes me by, on its way to the forsaken twilight
The twilight, of the final day of mine

Yeah, I’ve been through the pale blue sky
Yeah, the scarlet dawn and the vermilion sunset
Of every day had I bore witness to
But little do I realised, until it is too late

That eventually we shall all bow down to the many layers of dusk
At some point in our lives…

The many layers of dusk:
Red, vermilion, cerulean, violet, pink and black,
Never for once they seemed to portray a smile
For they are all but sad and gloomy, the colour combination of death
Being painted in a background of crickets and beetles
Languishing in apathy as the disease called progress
Awaits restlessly with a bowl and spoon in his hands

Here I am waiting, waiting for the dusk to fall on me
After all the answers and secrets of Life had I sought and lost
And yes, at the edge of the universe is where I am standing right now
For the time has come for me to close this book; and this time it’s for real…

Oh God, dear God
Please accompany me on this last step of mine
Just like you did on my first and my subsequent steps
Please don’t leave me alone at the time when I need You the most
For only from the darkness shall the dawn breaks,
And only into the darkness will the day end up…!

The darkness, that hides the truth from harm’s way,
To prepare itself for another day’s arrival?
Then maybe Life is a dream…


THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
1997


I SING THROUGH THE VOID
I sing through the silence
Of the path of violet crystals
That leads to the forest of light
Where the turquoise goose flew to feed

I sing through the emptiness
When the golden dawn of the day greets the sky
Far above the crystalline seas
How beautiful is the indescribable
When you know that peace is in your solitude…

I sing through the void, though no one is listening to me, I never cared
For I was born a wandering star, and the sky is my home
With emptiness as a friend, and shadows as a shield
And all the dawns on planets I’ve visited, were only for my eyes to see

I keep on singing, singing the only song I know
As the chronometers around me slowly melt away
Becoming golden rain that falls onto the meadows
For I am here in this realm alone

And the curtain of light,
The place where I was born,
Will also be the place
Where I shall die…

SAIF MINTAKA
KL
1997


AN ODE TO THE EMERALD WIND
Forsooth, it had been said
That the times in the sun are gone and buried
Friendship and enmity now resembled each other
And time is now an enemy worth the fight

Forsooth, it had been said
That the vision we’re on to was no longer clear
The marbled, gilded path was now dark and gloomy
And the twilight had replaced the golden noon

Forsooth, it had been said
That trust and the truth are no longer needed
But racial sentiments are still in demand
And patience is now an embarrassment of riches

But forsooth, it had also been said
That this knowledge will I carry into my grave
For apathy and greed are now the citizens of Earth
As time stood still on this longest day…

SAIF MINTAKA
MALAYSIA
1997

1996-The Beginning of Dark Days Ahead

ON A BEAUTIFUL SUNDAY MORNING
Someone had told me, not long ago
That the dawn will always break upon the darkest hour
And the moon will always glow with a borrowed light
While some of us still refuses to learn
That the secrets of Life are only for the Creator alone?

So today I watched the roses bloomed as if I’ve never been on Earth before
And today the pale blue sky was bright blue again
As if to convey a sign (wrapped in a thousand question marks of course!)
That the first light will come to me again…

But still the pollens flew aimlessly
And still the wonders of the birds never failed to amaze me
While the sight of clouds flying above the unfinished housing developments
That used to be a lush plain that I once played on, will always be a sight for sore eyes!

Here I am standing, surrounded by the melodious warm wind
Watching as the sun slowly catches up to his schedule
Watching life unfurling as it should be

Here I am standing, feeling merry and jovial
As merry as the birds nesting on an illegal factory nearby, raising their young beside an Active, billowing smokestack
While watching me danced with the flying dust, from the strange looking cars driven by
Their strange looking drivers…

So the family cat had stroked my bare feet, as her litter played with the falling leaves
Before all of them suddenly darted away, caused by the sound of a fallen ripe papaya
And I, sensing that no one is around, quickly welcomed that fruit
Feeling every pleasure with every bite
Under the cover of the arriving haze…

And such were the feelings that I had
On a beautiful Sunday morning

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
1996


THE SECOND CHANCE
(Written on the day I got kicked out of my first college)

I had failed once before
Had tasted the bitter taste of defeat several times
Had almost lost control of my own destiny once or twice
And had cried softly, in the roaring winds of apathy

I saw the path of my road ended in an avalanche of despair
But still I breathed in the air of hope around me
I saw darkness came creeping onto me once or twice
But with a wounded left eye I kept on going…

I saw how my whole world self-destructed before me
But none of my friends came to my mournful plight
And so I’ve learnt the painful art called betrayal
Something that never failed to ignite my anger even
After all these times!

But God is not a thunder, and failures are not forever
And so does everything sad and gloomy
As long as hope is still erect, upon your clenching fist

And as quickly as it came the thunder and lightning
I found myself in the light once again
But with all of its strength being bared before me
With no emotions or feelings, to describe or discourage it

I remember now, of all the streets that I have walked
Before in pitch darkness, now in a pale blue sky
And of the singing of the birds that is more melodious now
And remember clearly I am now, about the glorious past
And the future that’s yet to come

I thanked God for the miraculous guidance He gave me
That had brought me here by hope and patience that never wilted
And when all the celebrations are over
I know now, that I can touch the sky…

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
MUAR
11th JANUARY 1996


THE RAISING OF THE FLAGS
(Written during the final years of the Balkan War/Genocide)

The field was quiet, as quiet as the sky above it
And the sun was rising with a fiery glow of gold,
Though in reality still weeps for yesterday
Concealing the fact that one land was lost, and its peace disturbed

And its citizens, now in poverty, are left
With nothing but grief, misery and agony,
Legacy of things that were not their fault…

But as the sun rose higher still, only then did
All the scars, the damages and the countless mass graves,
Manifested themselves to the eyes of the world
Legacy of an apathetic establishment called global village…

And although we, a country with but a small voice
Had went out of our way in order to help them
Risking a lot for this thing called humanity
They knew, and we knew, that the damage was already done…

But now, all is in the past, buried and mourned
And the tormented survivors of this unholy war are
Now looking forward towards a new dawn and a fresh start
And to raise the much fought flags high into the air once again
Before in the season of remorse
Today in the morn of rejoicing

And along with their long lost friends and families
They will resume their singing and dancing with gay abandon
Letting their hair down, singing their hearts out
Till their heartfelt merriment touched the face, of the majestic morning sun…

So once again I awaken from my thoughts
Feeling a mixture of hope and joy
As a pair of white doves with olive shoots in their beak flew merrily
Over the same blue sky
And ended up, behind the infinite horizon
That spanned before me…

SAIF MINTAKA
MUAR
1996


THE GOLDEN LACED TRUMPET
It all began from the sky
And endeth onto the silent earth
Where diamond mushrooms grow in abundance
Fed by sustenance from the meandering Caramel River

And on the night of the full moon
The Violet Raindrops shalt drench the silvery plains
Soaking the Silver Falcons towards wakefulness
So that they would seeketh once more the delectable Sang-froid Nectar
That floweth from the hidden valley in the thorny pass

But on the day of the drying cerulean dew
The Emerald Wind shalt germinate the Echo Flowers
That grows inside the reverberating Crystal Garden
And thus letting the Rainbow Snakes to breathe once more the light
Whilst happily resuming their carefree flight inside their only home in the land

So when the winter season cometh once more to the land
The Golden Laced Trumpet shalt spake to the clouds
Letting the Emerald Snowflakes to falleth onto the dry scorched plains,
Nourishing it as it should be

And an idlest of mind, shalt be fertile, once more…

SAIF MINTAKA
MUAR
1996

1995-The Winds of Change were blowing...

THE CHANGING DAY
(A recognition to God)

(I almost always drove myself to tears everytime I read this poem, for this poem reminded me of the life that I should have been getting. But alas, it turned out not to be...)

Before, there were the dreams
A sacred plaything for the innocent
Who had only came to this world
To walk down the misty paths of Reality
Minutes ago

And as the child slowly began his walk in Life
The sky above him slowly changed
From a nostalgic shade of vermilion
To what he saw today

But these were hardly noticed by the child
Who was fast asleep under the sound of the harp
In his own world, safe from hate and harm

The day changed again
The child was now walking his seventh step
Towards a world filled with beings like him
A world very different, from his own world

And with little knowledge that he will be there
For almost a part of his life, the child
Slowly merged with it, in spirit

And memory told us that these wonderful
times of everyone’s past,
Were not wasted by the child…

As days became years, the child slowly became aware,
Of the purpose of his birth
And of the then smooth, marbled road called Life
He began to learn responsibility,
Something that he never knew ever existed
And also of the golden word called Friendship
And as his knowledge capacity grew
He began to choose his future function in life…

The Wheels of Time turned again
The child had walked his eighteenth step
The first leg of his journey was completed at last
But he knew that he still has a long way to go…

He walked out of his second world joyfully
Waving excitedly a piece of paper in the air
The one thing that could not be obtained,
Without an awful lot of hard work
Leaving with a smile worth a thousand words

Time had spread its wings again
The adult that was once the child
Can be seen walking down a new road of Life
Carrying with him his newfound partner
Under the shower of rice and confetti

Together they solemnly recited their matrimonial vows
While the Silver Birds of Time, sang merrily above them
Flying happily over the bright blue sky
Bearing witness to two lovers fulfilling their needs
Their need to love, their need to care and
Their need to live, in each other’s heart…

The joy of parenthood came unexpectedly a year after
And the two-piece family became a three
Another cycle of Life had begun at last
As the grown child took his twenty fifth step…

And now, for a moment in time, he pondered
As the sight of that child
Going towards the school bus for the first time
Caught his eyesight
A mixture of feelings filled his mind
Which had made him questioned,
Quoting now and then excerpts of his past life
About the new cycle of life conveyed before him
And that was, the life of his son

And not to mention about his own life as well
For he knew, that he was now in the passage of the afternoon sky
And his warm golden sun had already begun its steady descent above him
As the Silver Birds of Time were busy saying their good-byes
Towards their now independent offspring…

But the hourglass kept on refilling itself
And before that grown child knew, he found himself in the hall of academia once more
Becoming a silent witness towards his third and fourth child dressed in an honourable robe
Solemnly receiving a roll of paper fastened with a red lace
And leaving the stage with a smile worth a thousand words…

And as the grown child closed his family album, held tightly on his lap
He silently praised his God
Because all the steps that he’d taken, and all those decisions that he’d made,
Had borne successes
And having done that, he stopped his pondering and went straight
Into the dressing room to get dressed
As the invitation to his daughter and youngest child’s wedding,
Finally caught his memory…

As the clock ticked away
He found himself in the House of Matrimony once more
Along with all the fond memories of bygone days
Watching yet another pair of lovers fulfilling their needs
Their need to love and their need to care
Before their proud and thankful parents
And as they locked themselves in the blessed embrace
Being watched over by their own Silver Birds of Time
A shower of golden tears rained down the grown child’s heart…

Now the path that the grown child walked on were dusty and corroded
And the sky above him, was entering its final phase of the day
He noticed now that most of the sun’s light had waned upon him
Undoubtedly caused by the ominous clouds of age
Casting shadows of doubt all around him
As he walked out of his daughter’s baby shower party

And for once, he hesitated before the power of the truth
For he knew that he was now in the realm of the evening sky
And all of his youthfulness and bottomless energy wells,
Were now in the past
Just another leaf in the book of memories
As sickness and pain became his new-found friends…

The day changed again, for the last time
That grown child was now on the last leg of his journey
And the sky was now vermilion again
For the time had come, for him to become one with the dreams once more

Thus on this silent and heart wrenching moment
Surrounded by his wife, his progenies and his grandchildren, he smiled
He vividly recalled the day he first came into the world
About the beautiful shades of vermilion on the sky of that day
Much like the vermilion sky of this day, he said

And within this blissful reminisce, he found himself becoming one
With the elements that had before welcomed his arrival to this world
The weary traveller was almost at the doorstep of his destination
He knew now, that his journey was about to end
That wonderful journey, through this seemingly endless game…

Finally, the sound of the harp, that the child had been longing for
Unheard by everyone else in that gloomy room, came at last to him
A majestic glowing door appeared before him
Being slowly opened by a group of smiling angels, all enticing him to come in

And with one joyful smile, the old man closes his eyes…

THE END

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
MUAR
1995


SO LET IT BE, AND LET IT BE
(My second attempt at Automatic Writing, the same day as below)

I pray with the seeds borne by the winds
I jumped and sang the arrival of the comets
For the stars have shone through the thick velvet of the daylight sky
Watching the rain soaking the woods…

And our tears are now a fanfare of joy
For the sun had danced on our very own feet
Before saying hello to the moon
And the Checkerboard of Fate
And a dream of one is now a victory for all
So let it be, and let it be

SAIF ADLI
EARTH
1995


THE NEWBORN STAR
(My first attempt at "Automatic Writing"-check your Wikipedia for this-being done on one boring afternoon in my college library as I tried to catch up with my term papers).

I rose to the milieu of emptiness
That the thought had brought me
But then again the value of it can never outshines
The power of the feelings
For it is our destiny to become one with the heavens
And so in the darkness of this silent void, I pray to you
To give me another strike towards this sang-froid
So that I could thank you again and again
So help me God…

SAIF MINTAKA
EARTH
1995


THE LOST SONG OF ORPHEUS
(My third attempt at Automatic Writing, also on the same day)

To the earth of the moods
From the sky full of emotions
To the moon of sorrow
And the sun of happiness

And the thoughts of the many
Ousted they were by the fantasies of the few
As the Sacred Tancho of the East
Looks heavily towards the stormy sky

And the morning dust shall settle on the frieze
As Time slowly move away from its weary gaze
While the sleeping child, his heart full of reluctance
Prepares himself for his first day in school

So the trees of joy sprout again
As the meteor shower of sadness subsided
And the human dreamer, his teaching counterpart
And his blue-collared counterpart, slowly realised
That their quest, is almost, over…

SAIF MINTAKA
EARTH
1995


AWAKENED FROM A DREAM
Last night, everything that I’ve only imagined
Gathered around me
Treating me like someone they’ve sorely missed
Singing and dancing, playing and laughing
Till their merry moods touched the sky
Leaving me wondering what did I ever do to deserve all this…

Then, I heard a melody, from where I could not see
A melody so beautiful, only God could describe it
A melody so beautiful, it made me forgotten about the crowd
That had since disappeared from around me

I followed it willingly through the impossible darkness
With each step strangely free from the dangers,
Of any obstacles that could harm me for sure
As if there’s someone secretly protecting me
Till came a time I could go no further

But still I felt that sacred melody
Clinging softly to my heart…

Suddenly, I became one with it
The melody turned out to be a warm, beautiful glow
Penetrating through the darkness mercilessly
Making me closed my eyes before its illuminating might
Leaving me feeling strangely merry and jovial
In this realm beyond real and illusion

Slowly and slowly I opened my eyes
Feeling content and satisfied
But only to find out that it was just a dream
Just a mysterious game of the night

And the warm beautiful glow, that I’ve revelled in my dream
Was actually the sight of the morning sun
The sight of the sun that I’ve never seen before
That came through the wide-open window of my room,
Full of glory and full of life
What a dream, what a dream!

I never missed gazing the dawn since that day
And I could never have been happier in all of my life
Than at the time I gazed at the rising sun
But still I heard that beautiful melody
Clinging softly to my heart and will do so forever…

SAIF MINTAKA
MUAR
1995

1994-The year I discovered the Heart of Fantasy

THE PROMISED LAND
The Promised Land
A lone speck of an island,
In the tranquil Sea of Ideas
Where the moon of Hope and Dreams,
Appear every night, beyond its horizon…

The Promised Land
A place where time is like a ship
That goes one away and never comes back

Once there, a reward awaits some,
A punishment awaits another
Atone to what they’ve done,
In the mainland of the past…

But no matter what they say,
The Promised Land shall remain in its ground
And they will face the fact, sooner or later
That there’s already a place for them
In the Promised Land…

So lets make up all of our best
Because the Promised Land, is actually,
Our future!

And the Promised Land, the nest of destiny,
Is where we shall stay
Forever…

SAIF MINTAKA
MUAR
1994


FAREWELL TO THE KINGS
(Dedicated to all my former classmates of 5 Amanah-Class of 93)

‘Nothing lasts forever,’ someone had said
Not even the days under the sun, nor the worst of the weather
For today the Silver Birds of Time shall take us away
Far, far away into the Promised Land
Where the last creature in the box of Pandora, shall awaits us all…

It is the best of times, it is the worst of times, or so it seems
But whatever the descriptions, today is indeed a special day
For today the bells in the Ivory Tower shall toll for us
Whether or not we shall meet again, only time will tell, but hey,
Friendship lasts forever right?

So let this day be our last day together
And let the fanfare and choir of the sky fill our last moments together
While we recall the day we first met, under the Umbrella of Friendship
From the first of dawns, to the last of the twilight
From the first of fights, to our long awaited peace…

We are all kings of our own lands
Banded together in the Round Table of Fate
So let us tread the future with dignity and grace
Knowing that no matter how far we shall be apart,
We shall meet again in the near future

And like it or not, there’s already a place for us
In the Promised Land…

Farewell my dear kings
It is nice to know that we’ve been fated to meet,
Like we’re fated to say goodbye
Under this beautiful vermilion sky
And though we shall miss our friendship,
I shall treasure it, forever and ever
I promise you all…

SAIF MINTAKA
MUAR
1994


THE LAST RAIN DANCE
The sky looks grey
The trees have gone their way
And the winds hold sway
On the hills, the plains and a lonely bay

A dreamer, a worker and a teacher
Could not fail to notice the presence
The presence of the last creature
In the old, worn out box of Pandora

The creature is dying
Its breath, intermittent and hoarse
Blows side by side with the wind
Of the moment before the storm

Then it began:
An old man singing in the void
A speck of chalk burning among the ashes
And a limping shepherd playing his flute

Together with the wind
They form a muse, then a lark
And finally, the creature is gone
Gone, gone and gone

And the last drop of rain soaks the andesite
The nameless mire and the thorny pass
Washing the creature’s body into the ethereal blackboard
Along with the light of that day

Unwept, unhonored, and unsung
To his home that dreamer goes
To the concrete cave that worker goes
And the teacher?

The golden meadow awaits him
For him the last rain dance of humanity
Sung by the old man played by the shepherd
Is, no more…

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
MUAR
1994


A NEW DAWN
A new beginning, in time and space
On this day, at this time
Leaving behind the grief and sorrow of yesterdays
While looking forward towards the coming days
Under the sun

A new dawn
Signifies a reunion of hopes and dreams

A new dawn
Promises joy and happiness

A new dawn, a new day
A new streak of sunshine
Penetrating the fog of despair
And the shadow of doubt
Bringing Life, vitalising, refreshing
To all the sun revellers, and the seekers of Life

A new dawn, though extremely short-living
Is enough to tell the world
That the One and Only up there
Still cares…

SAIF MINTAKA
MUAR

1994

1993-The year I left school for the Great Beyond

THE FIRST LIGHT
Dawn breaks, in the sleepy small town
The roads are empty, the houses are occupied
And the stars still twinkle
As shadows roam the land

Then, all of the sudden, a call of prayer breaks the silence
Reverberating from a small mosque nearby
The one that praises the greatness of God
The one and only Creator…

But the town is still sleeping, waiting for nine o’clock
Saving only one, who works on the pipelines nearby

He stops in his track, almost in awe
Although he is a non-believer, that red overalled plumber
His conscience, overwhelmed by that voice
That praises a god in an unknown language

Then suddenly
An air of sadness and regret
Fills his heart
And without the knowledge of him
He cries…

THE SIGN OF SHIRO

SDAD
25th March 1993


BACK TO SCHOOL
The morning looked grey
Everything seemed new
Albeit in disarray
After all we’ve been through

Suddenly, the bell rang
From where we could not see
That made us all sprang
And queued up for the assembly

After the assembly, everyone returned
Just like before, to start the day
With books and lessons to look and listen
No time at all to go out and play…

And thus had begun another week
After a long time in a slumber
It’s time to recharge the minds of the weak
And prepare ourselves for the glorious future…
(Yeah, right)

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
SDAD
1993


LIFE, REVISITED
Sometimes I wonder
At the time of the blue sky
When the night clashes with the day
Is it going to change, or keeps on going?

Having no time at all
To stop and smell the roses
While catching a breath or two
Then is Life really worth living, without fully enjoying it?

But then, the ideas left me
And once again I find myself
Watching the sunset
While letting yet another day pass me by
Again…

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
SDAD
1993


THE SPIRIT OF TOGETHERNESS
I remember
During the time of the blue sky
The time, when I was alone on this road of mine
Seeking the secrets of the very Life itself
Without knowing what to look for, or where to start

Then, as I began to falter, came along some helping hands
My first friends from now till forever…

And since that day
We’ve been through all and everything together
On every fall, in every defeat
Though the seasons and time never stopped turning,
We kept on going and never stopped moving
Letting the days to come and go as they pleased
Seeing every dawn, glancing every dusk
Sharing everything, doing everything
Together…

And though there were times of the rain and sadness,
We never broke up, we remained as one
And if there be thorns, we mended the wounds
We helped each other through thick and thin
With the spirit of togetherness
Our guide for life…

So here as I stand before the mirror of yesterday
Clutching to our friendship forged of love and care
I wish you all, all the luck in the world
For even though you may have forgotten my face,

I will always be here, in this land called memory…

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
SDAD
1993


SANG-FROID, 1993 a.k.a. AFTER SPM 1993
(With dedication and warmest regards to all those wonderful days I’ve spent
in my former high school)

The walls, looked sad and gloomy
The bed, which once had laid an exhausted student
And the fluorescent lamp
That used to burn till late at night
Are now having their eternal rest

The faithful table that he used to study on
Is now full of dust and cobwebs
That had smothered all the textbooks,
The reference books and various other important notes
And the room itself is empty again
Just like it was six years ago…

The classroom
Which used to accommodate 31 students
That spent most of their time bent on their seats
Flapping study notes and reference books
Doing homework and humongous exercises
Is empty, all that’s left

Are ribbons and decorations
And scraps of food on the table
With a writing on the blackboard that said:
‘Salam Perpisahan 1993’ (Farewell Class of 93)

And the students themselves, have now gone their way
Pursuing their dreams far, long and wide
Walking along their chosen roads of life
Into a larger, more glorious world

While secretly hoping that someday
Fate will bring us back to this school again
To thank all of our teachers, for all that they had done

For whatever that we had achieved in our present life
Will only be our eternal excuse to thank them
Legacy of their past sacrifices and perseverance

And now the time has come
For me to resume my journey
To that place far, far away

On the dawn of this wonderful day…

SAIF MINTAKA
SDAD
1993

1992-The Early Year

A MOMENT IN TIME
Sometimes I wonder
At the crack of dawn
That begins a new day
Is it worth it,
To wake up,
And start it all over again?

Though life, it seems, has many faces
Spiralling through time like laces
While some are strange, and others not
Not a lot, that we can do, to change and undo

So let us keep on going through the day
Till the end of the universe if you may
And maybe, you will find the answers
Along with what your heart desires
At the moment of dusk
The dusk, of our lives…

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
SDAD
1992


THE SONG OF PEACE, THE SONG OF FREEDOM
I watched, one early morning
When the sky was in a shade of blue
The stars had gone, the clouds long disappeared
And the air was cool, and quiet

Then I saw, schoolgirls in uniforms
Patiently awaited their rather late bus
Listening now and then to the crowing of roosters
That greeted the arrival of the morning sun

And then I heard, the melodious chorus of dawn
Of birds my eyes saw not

I heard and felt, their sacred song
As it soared through the pale blue sky
Filling my heart with joy and happiness
And thus giving life a whole new meaning…

But how I wished, that they would sing
Of the pain and sufferings
Of our brothers and sisters
Who cried themselves to sleep every night

Oh how I wished
That the peace and freedom
Of this magic moment
Can be shared by all of us
Forever and ever

And how I wished
That we all could be free
To sing and dance with the birds
At the dawn of each new day
For as long as we shall live…

But suddenly, the roaring sound of an approaching bus
That those schoolgirls had been waiting for
Seemed to had awakened me
From my pipe dreams

And I, slowly found myself
Watching the sunrise
Of yet another day…

SAIF MINTAKA
MUAR
1992


THE MEETING OVER THE HORIZON
I watched, one early morning
When the Fingers of Aurora stroked the sky
A pale crescent, the moon
Struggled to glow, in the dawning sky

I watched, as the sun began to rise
The moon, accepting defeat
Gracefully and shyly, wandered away
And a sense of beauty, struck the sky…

I pitied the moon, for her courage
To glow side by side with her forbidden lover
The great ball of fire that was, the sun
But only to wandered away unrequited yet again
And having to do so, forever and ever…

But alas
For as the Fingers of Aurora parted
The meeting ended
And I, slowly found myself
Watching the sunrise of yet another day…

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
SDAD
1992


THE TWILIGHT’S PONDER
Now all the times in the sun are gone
And the days get colder and dimmer by the hour
And armed with hope and determination
We struggle against all odds
To reach for the golden meadow of the sun
The stepping-stones of our fledgling destiny

And whatever the obstacles that will be in our path
We must continue on, clutching to our beliefs
For it is vital to our cause, like cream atop of milk
While grabbing all the knowledge that we can
The one and only thing, that matters right now…

For we are now at the edge of the infinite sky
And the door to the future, is right in front of us
Nobody knows where it will lead us from here
But whatever it is behind that door,
Is another story altogether…

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
SDAD
1992


CRY OF A FALLEN SOLDIER
Once the sea was calm and spring was in the air
A dream was built with love and care
How wonderful it is to see
On the sky the twinkling lights of Thee

But a cruel twist had sent me away
My hopes had all but gone astray
The dreams I’ve built now crumbled to dust
Scattered in the wind, why do they must?

And as I falter in this darkest hour
Searching in vain for that miracle flower
I could only pray to God
To make me confront the stacking odds

Though time is now no more by my side
And I have lost my faithful guide
I can’t see why, that time still fly
And could not decide, after the defeat
Whether to close this book or to keep on reading it?

And although the juice had turned sour
Dawn will break upon this darkest of hours
So help me God, please…

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
SDAD
1992


DREAM
Once there was a world
No one knows where it lies, and why it exists
The world, where nights come alive
And reality goes to sleep
Oh, it is a wonderful place indeed
Where enemies became friends
And the impossible can be made

But, when the rooster starts crowing
To greet the dawn of another day
That world will close all of its majestic doors
And the souls will return, whether they like it or not
Back to their rightful place under the sun…

So all we have to do now
Is to spend the days through, just like before
From dawn till dusk and finally the night
And there, just like yesterday
Our dreams will embrace us, once more…

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
SDAD
1992


A TIME FOR REJOICING
This is the day worth waiting for
After a long reign of grief and grim
Come on, don’t be afraid
For this day is meant for us
And it’s been so long
Since we last sang and danced
Under the golden sun…

This is a time for us to rejoice
With all our friends both near and far
This is the day that grief and grim fear the most
Where the sun never sets and laughter fills the air
And please, enjoy every moment of it okay?
For today joy and happiness reign!

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
SDAD
1992

Anthology Contents Part 2

1998
-Soon it will be a New Year again
-Away from my numbers
-The rain caller
-The millennium’s end

1999
-A moment in time II
-Cry of a fallen soldier II
-The rainbow of dawn
-As I sat on the golden meadow
-Song of the final twilight
-The traveller’s mullings
-Behind the shadow of honour

2000
-An ode to a cat
-And the stars in the sky be my daffodils
-Paean of the merry
-I will keep on going
-The moon in the scarlet cloud

2001
-Through this dark and empty passage
-A book, a pen and a dream of far
-The fairy’s lullaby
-The dreamer’s epitaph

2002
-Alone in the city
-Coming back home again
-Just a thought…
-Song of the ethereal friends

LEFTOVERS
-The perfect day
-The winged hope
-These last few days
-The crossroad in life
-Friendship
-Mikra’s manifestation
-My last poem

Anthology Contents Part 1

1992
-A moment in time
-The song of peace, the song of freedom
-The meeting over the horizon
-The twilight’s ponder
-Cry of a fallen soldier
-Dream
-A time for rejoicing

1993
-The first light
-Back to school
-Life, revisited
-The spirit of togetherness
-Sang-froid 1993

1994
-The Promised Land
-Farewell to the kings
-The last rain dance
-A new dawn

1995
-The changing day
-So let it be, and let it be
-The newborn star
-The lost song of Orpheus
-Awakened from a dream

1996
-On a beautiful Sunday morning
-The second chance
-The raising of the flags
-The golden laced trumpet

1997
-Away from the twilight
-The many layers of dusk
-I sing through the void
-An ode to the emerald wind

Anthology Acknowledgement

I would like to take this opportunity to thank my parents and family members for my many sources of inspiration, my former high school English Teacher Mrs. Zalina Ibrahim for recognising my raw talents and encouraged me to sharpen them (something that I’m still doing right now), my glorious former high school Sekolah Menengah Dato’ Sri Amar Di Raja Muar: my old training ground and the place where I nurtured my hopes and dreams, my old classmates (Class of 93) for all those days ‘under the sun’, my former college Akademi TV3 for giving me a chance to further sharpen my writing skills, and also to all my former college mates (Class of 98) especially the infamous Liberty 24 Productions team and Team 096 Productions team (wherever you might be in this ever shrinking world) for their everlasting friendship and their given support and encouragement.

And last but not least to all the ‘friendly’ (please excuse the pun) people living in my neighbourhood of Maharani Estate (illegal immigrants notwithstanding), all those kids I used to play with years ago for all those precious moments that we made and shared when we were young (wherever you guys might be right now), my mutually demented band members and everyone whom I’ve jammed with, the ‘nice’ townsfolk of my hometown Maharani City and everyone in this great global village who knew my name…and bought this book the moment it came out! :)

Thank you. Thank you again.

Anthology Preface

A lot of things had happened since I began this gathering quest of mine-peaceful, thought inducing moments that appeared with each and every piece I came across with.

I remembered clearly all the pleasant trips down memory lane with each title that I read, all the precious gems I laid onto the now browning pieces of paper and all the recollections of physical and spiritual environments that I traversed-things that had ringed true this golden saying that had been said or rather written some time ago, that “there’s never been a better way to encapsulate the accumulated feelings and emotion from any particular moment in life and time, than as a quatrain in a poem;” all were carefully compiled within the folds of this volume, pleasantly within reach of any curious hands that might come across it in any bookstores or libraries the world over.

Indeed I never would have thought that all those pensive scribbles to pass the time would one day greet me in ways quasi-magical at best, cathartic and serene at most. At times it would feel like you’ve just opened a floodgate at high tide, at other times they spiritually caress your heart with all the forgotten emotions from long past like a pleasant breeze.

All the hopes, dreams and reveries that would stay fresh within their cosy quatrains and stanzas as fresh as the day they were written. Yes, clearly nothing could ever work wonders on your soul as poetry would, for poetry is the language of the soul as music is the language of our hearts.

And so I present to you this collection of poetry that I wrote to myself for the past decade or so. A spiritual journal of achievements containing poems and songs dating back from the day I first started till the day this book was completed.

A selection of fine emotional capsules that this life of mine had accumulated and a fledgling anthology that will lead the way for many others to come…

So now the traveler begins his journey.

Saiful Nizam Shukor

Muar

21st Century A.D